Man vs. Moth

Ah yes, the epic battle that has raged since the dawn of time, Man vs. Moth. Over the centuries the battles have been waged, some won by moth and some won by man, but this war will be an everlasting one with perhaps no true winner. Until we are faced with the end of days, it is a war we'll continue to wage and I for one will never give up the hope for a moth free world. This is my story...

As I sit here, talking about the war between man and moth, I ponder the fateful battle I waged upon said moth not 30 minutes ago. I sit here staring into the vast and wonderous web when I hear that ever so distinct flap and hum of the viscious beast only known as "moth". I look up and to my surprise it has not yet started the bombardment of the light fixture. I hurridly rush into *battle positon (see * below for details) and take up defense by standing on my bed. Like usual the swatting motion I'm doing with my left hand is futile. The dam moth, all smug, taunting me by staying just out of my reflexive reach. Just then, the bastard starts the bombardment of my light fixture. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I cry like Darth Vader upon this oh so bitter defeat. "How will I ever get the smug little bastard now?" I think to myself... Just then I notice that I have a can of compressed air sitting on my desk and hastily grab it. We all know that canned air is basically Liquid Nitrogen in spray form, so I make ready for my full on assault. "Swooosh" comes from the can as I let a large get of freezing air into the little bugger but to no avail, he just moved to the other side of the fixture. Again with the full on assault, not giving him any leverage, I spray again! Again he has foiled my frostbite in a can assault on his fuzzy little body. I can't give up now, this room ain't big enough for the both of us, and moth, I an't leavin'! A third time I spray him and AHAH! He is sprayed out of the fixture, smashes into the wall and falls to the floor. HOORAY, Victory is mine! Or is it... The moth landed on his back and is squirming a bit, but lucky for me, I have the kleenex in my opposite hand. So I dive and grab his smug bastard ass into this kleenex and finish him off with one fel swoop. Grabbed and killed all whilst wearing the robe and final resting place that is kleenex. The funeral procession led to the toilet and though he fought valiantly, no prayer was said before the lowering into his final hell (also known as flushing the toilet). Today was a good day to die moth, but not for me. Not yet, not yet...



*Battle Position: This is when man is standing bear chested with only shorts on, holding a kleenex in one hand swatting at the moth with the other. This is a very effective stratagy. Swatting generally is futile, however there is the hope of downing its flight, wherein the kleenex is made ready to envelope and take the final kill.