The Antigasm. Huh?

Consider yourself warned, this post is not for children...

In the beginning... God said "let us make man in our image, after our likeness"... God created man in his image; in the divine image; male and female... And God blessed them, saying, be fruitful and multiply...

That was the creation of man in a very very small nutshell. It was taken from a few different sources, none that I will cite.

So God said "be fruitful and multiply", ergo God gave man the gift of sex. And we all know that with sex comes the wonderful gift of orgasm. It truely is an amazing thing. I don't care if you believe in God or not, it is a gift, and it is from him. Now many people would fancy the orgasm as the greatest thing ever, however I'd probably have to put it in a close second place just behind Heaven. Afterall, the orgasm is heaven on earth, but the true pleasure is the one and only heaven.

Let us talk about the orgasm for just a moment. The dictionary describes orgasm as:

(ôrgzm)
n. The peak of sexual excitement, characterized by strong feelings of pleasure and by a series of involuntary contractions of the muscles of the genitals

Thats a sounds like a whole load of fun! Orgasm is achieved by sex, self pleasuring or the ever dreaded, and messy, wet dream. It is the quintessential description of ultimate euphoria! Wow, that was a mouthful! Maybe thats why there is so much promiscuity in our world. I mean if its that euphoric, I can imagine why everyone is doing it all the time.

Ok, so if the orgasm is the ultimate in euphoria, what is its polar opposite? Your thinking that there cannot be such a thing, but everything has an opposite. Good/evil, large/small, down/up, Alec Baldwin/Carrot Top etc etc... Its just the way that God hath put this universe together.

So now we all know that everything has an opposite. But you ask, whats the opposite of the orgasm? Well folks, its called the antigasm! What is this so called "antigasm"? Let me tell you! The antigasm is the polar opposite of the the orgasm, thus the antigasm must be horrible pain of course! Mind numbing shut your body down pain. How do I know this? Because I just coughed so friggen hard that I must have pinched a nerve or something and my entire body felt pain like its never felt pain before. I mean I've broken my leg, fell in a glacier lake, have had a few surgeries, and a bottle of iodine poured over my leg when there was no skin left... But nothing I have ever felt came close to the pain I just experienced!!! Pain shot through my torso, legs, arms, hands, fingers, toes! Not one point in my body felt normal. It blew my mind really. I didn't know coughing could induce such a horrific and painful experience. I knew as soon as it happend that there must be a name for what just occured. And it came to me. The antigasm. It made perfect sense!

There you have it folks. The antigasm. So now when you feel pain like never before, you know what to call it!