I'm a blog tease! (a bit dirty in the end: pun intended)

G'day fellows, the people of Germania bid thee good day! After a much awaited new blog I figured I'd have to start with something witty and ole tymey. Did it conform to your ideas of a good intro after a lengthy leave of absence? It damned well better have!

Tis been nearly an entire season since I posted last. Three months to be exact. Snow has come and gone. Winter is over and its now officially spring. The chirp of birds and bright sunny days are upon us. I will soon have to contest with, no longer the brutal cold winters, but the scortching sun upon my pasty white body. The death touch of West Nile Virus by the swarms upon swarms of mosquitos, and yes the deadly yet silent moth...

Where have I been you ask? Well I say its none of your business you rabid pack of humor seeking hyenas!! Ah, just kidding my friends. I was amidst a flurry of life, information and yes, adventure. What crazy news of wonder and other tales of jockularity do I have to share? Well... Only time will tell. And here is where the title of my blog comes into play...

Since my last entry nearly three months ago I've been bombarded with inquiries from my multitudes and multitudes of fans wondering when the next bit of wisdom will grace their eyes. "When will you do your next story? Whats your next blog going to be about? I think you should blog about the time you posed in front of the mirror with a stick pretending its a sword when just then 2 beautiful women entered the store I was working at and caught me pretending that I was a Japanese Samurai warrior. Heartilly embarassed at that moment trying not to seem like biggest nurd alive, attempted to be cool and failing misserably when also realizing how funny it must have been and chortled to myself..." Uhhh... Yeaaaaaaaa... Usually I would retort with some colossal tale of excitement and adventure in which I was part of and then state that I'll be blogging about this issue "probably tonight".

As I'm walking around on break at work visiting with my comrads I'd come up with delightful idea's to write about and then tell them about it. Goofin' around with my roommates and then telling them I'll blog about it. Basically anytime in the past three months that something interesting has presented itself, I've let someone know how funny it was and that I'm writing a story about it.

Here is where the problem lay. I am a procrastinator. Everyone who knows me can attest to my "I'll do it tomorrow" attitude towards everything, especially anything with work involved. This most definitely includes blogs.

I now admit that I am a blog tease. I like to fill the minds of the people I know with crazy wonderous things and get their hopes up that I'll write about it in my oh so interesting style, and then never do it! HAH! Thats right friends. As much as I like writing these tales for you, I enjoy nothing more than seeing you squirm with excitment eagerly awaiting a new story that may never happen! HAHA! Yeah I'm sick, but hey, I gotta get my kicks some how. I'm just like that hot girl at the bar that you KNOW is WAY out of your league, but you become goo in their hands when they pretend to fawn over you. They tease you with the idea that you may get a really hot piece of ass if you play your cards right all the while both of you fully knowing it will never happen. Thats right I'm just like the cock tease. I however don't have the aftereffect of a huge bone and sexual frustration. Well I hope not anyways. Actually, scratch that! If you got all worked up sexually when I tell you my crazy stories and then leave you hangin', that would be friggen awesome! Umm... I must state for the record that the last statement was directed more towards my female fan population...

Thats right folks, I'm a cock tease and I'm damned... Uhhh... Now I'M all worked up, shit.... Lets try that again... Thats right folks, I'm a BLOG tease and I'm proud of it! Not to worry your pretty little heads though as I do actually have about 15 blogs unfinished just waiting for your beedy little corneas to eye hump. Until the next tale of glory comes out, I hope that you all stay excited and unsatisfied. You know I'm watching you... *insert cheesy dun dun dun sound clip here*