Operation "New Gotchies"

I must start out by explaining to all you Easterners and people from foreign lands what gotchies actually are. It is a distinctly Canadian, and moreover, Western Canadian term for underwear, underpants, panties, drawers etc... How did this word come to be? Well, since its a distinctly Western Canadian word not much is known about the origins. Should I do a thesis on the subject? Perhaps, but for now we aren't going to broach past the inner ramblings of a madman. ie: me! So where was I? Ah right, the word gotch. Whoever coined the word "gotch" should definately be in the history books as the greatest Canadian wordsmith of all time! Well, lets just say, if it was put to a vote, I would vote for the gotch man. Back on subject...

My theory behind the word gotch is as follows: I think that one day in the early 20th century in some southern Saskatchewan town a mom got her yearly package delivery of clothing supplies from the Hudson's Bay Co. for her family. She had ordered new underpants for everyone in the family, seeing that purchased ones were a bit more comfortable than the woolies she made from scratch. Nobody seemed to like those at all. After supper was over she opened up the box and handed out the underpants to her family while saying "look what I gotcha from the Hudson's Bay". I mean after all, you know as well as I do, some Saskachewanians have a bit of a hickish nature to their way of speaking. Upon saying "gotcha" her son probably thought it was funny and pestered her to no avail. And of course, this lead to him telling his friends that funny thing his mom said, and she, telling her friends what a smartass her son was. Its kind of a Yin Yang sort of thing. And knowing how back in the old days kids actually had imaginations, the word gotcha shortened to "gotch", caught on mighty quick!

Now don't get me wrong, the word "gotch" isn't as simple as you all may think. Its actually quite a complicated noun to master the use of. It starts from the root word gotch, obviously, which is the simple part. Here's where it turns into a conundrum. The plural of gotch can be gotch as well!? How can that be? Lets take a look at it shall we: "I have a pair of gotch." (singular) Or, "Look at all the gotch I have." (plural) Its mind boggling really how the root word can also be the plural as well. Lets delve further into the plural form a bit more. "Gotchies" is also a plural version and can be used as follows: "I have many gotchies". Further, "gitch" can also be used in place of gotchies: "I have lots of gitch". Its quite the versatile word and not only do I use it often, but I'll continue to use it until my death!

Now that we have learned what the word "gotch" is, and how to use both its plural and singular form, I think its time to tell you my story. Its an odd story, nothing like this blog has seen before. I'll start out by saying for as long as I remember I've been a briefs wearin' kind of guy. Thats 25 years of briefs. Thats a long time. I hate to admit it, but in my late teens I had some sort of retarded phase that I enjoyed wearing the bikini briefs. Why? I honestly don't know! Its not like they were a g-string for men. And its not like I was taking off my clothes for money and just had the little dink pouch. They were just briefs with a little less leg cuff. Nothing racy about them, but perhaps they made me feel naughty? Needless to say, these smaller gotch are at the bottom of the drawer (pun not intended) and only ever get pulled out in an emergency. Emergencies like last week when I had not 1 clean pair of briefs and had no choice but pull out a pair from the mini gotch pile. Thing is, I've gained quite a bit of weight since I wore them, so basically they were way to damned small and tight. Thats right ladies, I know your turned on right now so "don't act like your not impressed." But I digress... Over the past few months I've been noticing that the briefs aren't accommodating me as well as they used to. Like I said, I've gained a bit of weight since my younger years and its affecting the old gotch situation. It seems lately that my ass has a hunger so voracious that it bites at all that comes near it, and its favorite food is the cotton of my gotch! I can't lie... The cotton has started riding up my butoxel region on a daily basis and I can't help but dig at it until I'm comfortable again. The bad thing is, I don't even care about being discreet anymore! I just go at it like it owes me money! Diggin' the natural wedgie out has become a common event for me every day and its not good. I mean when people at work ask if I have a problem, or are curious about what I'm doing I just say "I'm having gotch problems..." So you know it has become an issue... But they usually laugh and leave it at that. So having this problem spawns many conversations about gotch and different types of gotch, and perhaps I should try a new kind. A new kind? What other kind is there? I have briefs, and a few remaining pairs of the binkini briefs, I hate boxers... Are there any other kind I ask? A workmate of mine says "yeah man, I swear by boxer-briefs and have for years!" "Really?" I retort with. So he goes on about why he likes them and that perhaps I should try a a pair myself. So after about a week or 2 of consideration I finally made the plunge to get new gotch! I know what your thinking... Men usually only buy gotch 2-3 times in their life and its usually only when the ones already owned are completely utterly useless. The rest of the time you get them with your X-mas gifts. Anywho... I go to the local gotch store, lets call it Walmart, and purchase a 2 pack of these boxer briefs. I take them to the counter girl and say "Hello shop keep. I'd like to purchase these fine washables, but don't wrap them up too tight because I'd like to wear them now." She stared at me blankly and rang them through the till. I gave her the money and fled the premesis like I just stole something. Its a wierd thing to buy gotch really. Everyone wears them, its not like they are fancy, but you just feel wierd buying them...

Let me explain something about the boxer-brief. They are comfortable, they have a bit of support, not as much as the brief, but its still there. But its not like the boxer where your just hangin' out there for the world to see. I don't like the hang, there's gotta be some dink support or whats the point really? Its the perfect merger of the worlds 2 most worn gitch.

Ok, so now I'm into day 2 of "operation new gotchies", and my second pair of boxer brief and I must say I'm completely satisfied! I don't want to say there is zero natural wedgie, however its been a 99% improvement on the old version. It took a few days of getting used too, but it seems that I'll be a boxer-brief man for life! I highly suggest you all try them as they are phenomenal!